Before the Gate
← Understanding life inside
For peer mentors and people supporting them

A good peer conversation

The badge doesn’t make you a mentor. What you do with it does.

Help with prison visit costs ↗ · Find family support ↗

These are starting points from my own mentoring experience. Your training, supervision and local role boundaries come first. You should know who to ask when something is beyond your role.

1. Approach and listen

Introduce yourself, ask what would help and give the person time. Do not assume the person who looks confident is coping. Respect their choice if they do not want to talk.

A conversation prompt

What is the main thing on your mind today?

2. Understand before taking action

Ask what has happened, what has already been tried and what the person wants help with. Do not turn the conversation into an interrogation or ask for details you do not need.

A conversation prompt

What needs sorting first?

3. Keep your boundaries

Do not lend, borrow, hold property, take PINs or become part of a debt. Help people reach professional advice rather than making legal, medical or allocation decisions. Explain the local limits of confidentiality; do not promise absolute secrecy.

A conversation prompt

I can help you ask, but I cannot promise the decision.

4. Agree one next step

Use the person’s own words. Check they understand the request and agree what you can do within your role. Personal information belongs in the authorised process, not a private notebook or on this website.

A conversation prompt

What will you do, what can I help with, and who do we need to ask?

5. Know when staff must act

Use the establishment’s approved route promptly for safety concerns. Immediate danger or urgent health concerns need staff straight away. Do not investigate, confront someone or delay urgent action while discussing it with other peers.

A conversation prompt

I am concerned about your safety. I need to get the appropriate staff involved.

6. Go back and check

Find out whether the support happened, what remains and whether anything has changed. Do not assume a submitted application means the issue is resolved. Use supervision after difficult conversations and ask for support yourself.

A conversation prompt

Did you get an answer? How are you getting on now?

Practical topics to use alongside a conversation

Explore the family explanations or open the sheets written for someone inside. A sheet is a prompt, rather than a replacement for listening.

Explore practical topics ↗
Open printable conversation sheets ↗

Supporting a peer mentor team?

My wider material covers selecting suitable mentors, shadowing, staff communication, wellbeing, reflection and follow-through. Ask about training or a session for your organisation.

Enquire about peer mentor support ↗

From Before the Gate’s peer mentor toolkit and staff training material. These starting points do not replace establishment training, supervision, safeguarding or confidentiality procedures. Local operational arrangements must be agreed by the responsible team.